Hello again!
Today is my 5th chemo!
I only have one more chemo left after this and I can’t wait!!!
I’ve been getting this weird ringing in my right ear and also some blurred/double vision, which might be from the chemo. The ringing comes and goes every couple of days, and thankfully I haven’t experienced any hearing loss. My medical oncologist told me to keep an eye on it and let her know if it gets worse because…
I kind of need to be able to hear.
But I also have some REALLY good news from my last oncology appointment!
We went over the PET scan I had a couple of weeks ago, and my oncologist said I’d had a really good response to treatment.
The tumors in my liver had resolved.
They were gone!
No evidence!!!
The other areas that had shown up before, including the lymph nodes under my left armpit and above my left collarbone, had also resolved.
And the main tumor in my left breast had shrunk so much that I couldn’t feel or see it anymore. Before treatment, it was actually sticking out and was especially noticeable from the side.
This news made me feel SO relieved and happy!
My medical oncologist will talk with my breast surgeon about the next steps, but it sounds like I may be able to have a lumpectomy, or breast-conserving surgery, instead of a mastectomy.
I’ve had people say to me:
“It’s not a big deal. Just get a boob job.”
Easy to say when it’s not YOUR boob!
And I happen to like my boobs just fine. 🙈
A mastectomy isn’t the same thing as getting a boob job. It’s major surgery, more like an amputation, and the thought of cutting off a part of my body really scared me. So hearing that I might be able to have breast-conserving surgery instead felt like another huge piece of good news.
My genetic testing also came back without a BRCA1 or BRCA2 mutation, which was another big relief.
My last chemo with carboplatin and docetaxel is scheduled for April 6!
After that, the plan is for me to stay on Herceptin and Perjeta indefinitely because I’m still considered Stage IV. Hopefully the side effects won’t be as bad without the chemo drugs.
And…
MY HAIR CAN START GROWING BACK!!!
To keep it real, I’ve felt like I’ve been living in a really bad dream for such a long time that any little bit of good news gives me hope.
It’s been a roller coaster trying to get used to this new normal…
Which doesn’t feel normal at all.
Okay.
Now onto what’s happening in the rest of the world.
THIS IS CRAZY, RIGHT???
Coronavirus isn’t going away.
First of all, most of y’all know that I’m weirdly fascinated by doomsday and end-of-the-world stuff.
Every 9/11, I end up watching the old “as it happened” footage and survivor stories. I love apocalypse movies: Armageddon, 2012, Deep Impact, The Day After Tomorrow, World War Z, I Am Legend…
And I’m watching Contagion again right now!
Anytime there’s a plane crash or natural disaster, I’m the person watching CNN 24/7.
By the way…
WHERE THE FREAK IS MH370???
But this feels different.
The last couple of days, I’ve been so happy to hear from everyone through texts and group chats. It really helps knowing we’re all here for each other and can still have some funny moments in the middle of all this craziness.
Everyone is suddenly working from home. People are spying on their kids’ TikTok dances, fighting with crazy neighbors, looking for toilet paper, squeezing in one last ski trip before the lifts close…
The freezer section at Trader Joe’s in Vegas is wiped out.
And now the casinos are starting to close.
Seeing the Bellagio go dark was so sad. 😦
Meanwhile, my friend and I are apparently online shopping while the world is ending. 😉
But American Eagle just has so much cute stuff!
Seriously, though…
It’s surreal.
I can’t believe what’s happening, and I’m sad, worried and scared of the unknown.
I actually woke up at 3 a.m. panicking about coming to the infusion center today.
I kept thinking about how close together all the chairs are and how vulnerable everyone here is while getting cancer treatment.
I practiced my deep-breathing exercises and tried to calm myself down.
It’s hard not to get caught up in all the pandemonium, but it really does help knowing that everyone is going through something right now—and maybe feeling some of the same fear and uncertainty.
So thanks for sharing it with me.
I’ll be sure to keep you guys updated.
Until next time…
Keep safe and take care!!
XOXO
