Today I really wanted to bring donuts for all the infusion nurses, especially one of my regular nurses because she is so sweet and nice.
And today, of all days, she was off.
Doh!
Anyway, I think all the other nurses really liked the donuts, and they’re all nice too.
I hid two donuts in my bag for myself.
In case of emergency!
I checked into the infusion suite at 9:15 a.m., and there were already three other peeps in my pod. I recognized two of the ladies, although we never make eye contact or talk to each other. I recognized the guy only because he was already sleeping and snoring away.
It’s only 9:15 a.m.! Haha. I’m not sure when he got here.
I let the nurses know that my side effects have been pretty manageable, and they said my bloodwork looked good, which means I’m good to go for treatment.
I downloaded Willow and Crazy Rich Asians to watch.
Okay, I’ve seen Crazy Rich Asians at least five times, but I can’t help it!
Lah!
Then I remembered that today was Kobe Bryant’s memorial, so I switched over to watch that instead.
Two minutes in, Beyoncé started singing Halo, and I started tearing up. I was trying to hold it together and thinking maybe I should just watch this at home because, first of all, how embarrassing—and second, I didn’t want the nurses to think I was having a bad reaction to my meds!
Then Vanessa Bryant started speaking.
I was so captivated that I couldn’t stop watching.
OMG.
The tears started coming down fast.
Luckily, all of my pod-mates were sleeping by then, so I could cry in peace.
After the memorial was over, I really, really, REALLY wanted—no, needed…no, DESERVED—a donut.
For a second I felt guilty about eating sugar during chemo.
But you know what?
What the heck!!!
Things were going pretty fast today. I was already down to my last bag of chemo, so only about 30 minutes left.
Time for my trail mix snack!
Then the woman in the chair next to me got up to use the bathroom. I’d seen her at the infusion center several times before.
When she came back, she suddenly started squirming around in her chair and had this look of panic on her face.
Then she started screaming:
“My back! My back!”
I had my EarPods in, so I took them out.
Suddenly nurses were running into our pod.
They were trying to figure out what was wrong while she kept saying that her back was in terrible pain. More nurses came in. They brought over a heating pad and oxygen and started giving her medication for the pain.
But she was still incredibly agitated and crying out.
Then the doctor came in and started telling her to breathe in and out really slowly.
And apparently I decided I was participating too, because I started breathing in and out along with her.
At this point I was getting pretty freaked out myself.
My brain immediately went somewhere ridiculous:
Is an alien about to pop out of her lower back?
I’m still attached to my chemo bag, but I’m thinking that if something comes flying out of this woman, I have no doubt I will rip this sucker out of my chest and make a run for it.
Then my brain went somewhere even more absurd:
Is this how coronavirus starts?
Haha.
By now, the rest of my pod-mates had woken up and were staring at the woman…
And then there was me.
Eating my trail mix.
I mean, I guess there was nowhere else to look.
But I think we were probably all wondering the same thing:
Could this happen to me someday?
I left shortly after everything happened, so I don’t know how she ended up doing. By the time I left, the nurses and doctor were still with her.
It reminded me of another time I witnessed someone having a bad reaction during one of my earlier visits.
I could hear alarms going off in another pod and nurses asking someone:
“Are you okay? Do you know where you are?”
More nurses ran over.
I kept hearing:
“Look at me. Open your eyes. Where are you?”
I was sitting facing the window when an ambulance suddenly pulled up outside.
The EMTs came into the infusion room, and by then everyone was looking.
They wheeled a man out, followed by his wife, who was crying her eyes out.
Even his nurse was crying.
That was a lot to process.
I remember thinking afterward that I was glad I hadn’t witnessed something like that on my very first chemo day because I don’t know how I would have felt about coming back.
Okay, enough about bad reactions.
I have some GOOD news to share!
Last week I had my second PET scan and an ultrasound with my breast surgeon.
The PET scan went pretty smoothly. The tech was really friendly and chatty, which made me less nervous.
And the results looked really good!
A lot of the tumors had shrunk, and there were no new lesions.
I’ll go over the PET scan results in more detail with my medical oncologist at my next appointment on March 5.
My breast surgeon also seemed really happy with how I was responding to treatment. She did an ultrasound to see how well the chemo was working and said that while there was still something visible where the breast tumor had been, most of it appeared to be gone. She thought what remained might be dead tumor cells that could eventually be removed with surgery.
The lymph nodes in my left armpit and above my left collarbone had also responded really well.
And I got more good news from my genetic testing:
I don’t have a BRCA1 or BRCA2 mutation!!!!
My breast surgeon and medical oncologist will talk about my surgery options. It sounds like I’ll most likely have a lumpectomy, or breast-conserving surgery, but I’ll find out more at my next oncology appointment.
For now, the plan is to complete six cycles of chemo with taxotere and carboplatin and continue Herceptin and Perjeta.
How long?
A year? The rest of my life?
I’m still figuring all of this out.
I’ll let you guys know what happens!
Thanks for reading!
XOXO
