The first day after chemo wasn’t too bad. I was taking my anti-nausea meds preemptively in the hopes that I wouldn’t feel anything.
At 7:20 p.m., the Neulasta thing started beeping, and I waited an hour before I could finally take it off.
The second day, which was Christmas Day… O.M.G.
Everything started hitting me really badly. I felt like I had the worst case of the flu times a thousand. The body aches were so bad—it felt like every single cell in my body was screaming in pain. I couldn’t sleep, lie down or sit up comfortably. I was in the most awful pain imaginable.
On top of that, I was nauseous and having splats at the same time. I could barely eat. The smell of food made me sick, and even water tasted horrible. It wasn’t metallic—I can’t even describe what it tasted like. It just made me want to puke. I didn’t want to drink water or anything at all.
The day after Christmas, I stayed in bed all day but couldn’t get comfortable because I hurt everywhere.
I don’t remember very much from those few days other than being the most miserable I had ever been in my entire life. I just wanted it to be over.
And then I started wondering: What if this never ends?
On Friday, I woke up because the scheduler at my oncologist’s office had left me a message asking me to call her back. I looked in the mirror and saw blood coming out of my nose.
I looked like death.
When I called her back, I could barely talk or hold myself together. She asked me how my Christmas was.
I said, “Okay.”
And then I started to cry.
She felt bad and said, “Awww,” which somehow made me feel even worse.
Today is Saturday, and for the first time I woke up feeling pretty okay.
I couldn’t believe it.
The body aches were finally gone!
I was also super hungry, although in this really uncomfortable, weird way. I ate some dumplings and noodles, and then around lunchtime I started craving chicken nuggets and a large icy Coke.
So my mom took us to McDonald’s. 🙂
What a blur the past week and a half has been.
But finally, I’m feeling okay.
